Reading Useless Mom

Dear Starcana, I have a very important question, in which I would like to know if my child is going to graduate from high school. He was kicked off the football team this year, because he had failed to keep up with his grades and studies. I thought that being kicked off the team would have finally concerned him, as he was the one of the team's important players. Unfortunately, this sad situation did not enforce him to work harder to bring his grades - but instead, they have continued to plummet. Can you please help? Feeling Useless Mom

Dear Feeling Useless Mom, Obviously this is a very important concern for you, as would be with ANY mother. The Ace of cups, in a reversed position, immediately makes me quite aware of the obstacles the your son has been facing. Teenage years can be very hard for our young adolescents (as well as for us parents!) as they are pressured with so many growing demands that seem to come from so many sources. Whether theses demands are coming from their home life, school life, peers, love, grades, bullies, appearance, etc. Plus the amount of raging hormones can make them feel quite confused and lost, with so many decisions to make! Your child in particular is dealing with alot, and feels very alone. He is incredibly sensitive, and struggles with teen choices and teen responsibilites. I might also want to add that there may be a deteriorating friendship (possibly a young love) that may also be adding to the dark cloud above his head.

The Page of Swords who also arrives in a reversed positionn adds that your son's mind is truly not involved or interested in his studies. Life in general just seems to be more fun and interesting to your son, rather than sitting quiet and still in school. He is an active child, who is obviously athletic and does well in sports. The thought of reading a book quietly seems to be almost torture or unnecessary to this young sportsman! And although it is a frustrating experience for you as a parent, be sure that it is also quite infeasible for your son. It seems that you both are separating yourselves apart from each other... rather than staying strong, and opening up to one another. Communication seems to be failing between you both, and it may be a good time to sit down with each other, and simply talk and get the communication lines back open. Ask him questions about how he feels with life lately, ask him how his day is going. He needs to know that you care. No one likes to assume that. Grab a book and sit quietly with him, while he does his schoolwork. Ask him if you can help him study. Loneliness is one obstacle between the two of you, and it doesn't seem to be working for neither of you. Plan time for a nice conversation. Make each other laugh. And most importantly, always remind him that you still love him. No one likes to assume that either. Teens act as if they are too cool for mom's little words of endearment - but secretly deep down inside - they can never hear it enough.

Last, The Magician appears with the final word - and I believe that your son will definately graduate from school. If he decides to proceed with his education after high school, I might add that with the right amount of encouragement, that he will continue to succeed! He is intelligent, and capable of pulling himself out of the hole, and come out shining. He knows exactly what he needs to do, and knows how to go about it, to get what needs to be done - done! Your son has alot of confidence, as well as common sense - buried beneath all that careless exterior. You are an incredibly important figure in his life to help boost his self-esteem when he feels hopeless or uninspired. Don't be afraid to compliment him on occasion, and make him aware of his capabilities... and always let him know how proud you are of him (even when you feel that it won't help). You will be always be guaranteed a light of glimmer (and hope) in their watery eyes. Remember: Patience is a mother's middle name, and also the test of our mothering skills. Just give him some time... and don't be afraid to give yourself alittle time.

Starcana
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