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June 05, 2006

Capricorn and Aries - Compatible Mates?

Dear Starcana, I am an Aries, and wonder if I can find happiness with my Capricorn boyfriend. We have dated on and off since high school, and although we have had our share of "make-up's" and "break-up's" throughout the years, we still love each other. There are times when he cares so deeply for the two of us, and then other times he can be so cold. I have tried to date other guys, but something always brings the two of us back together. My mother says that things will get better when I can actually quit asking so many questions, and to stop assuming things about him. She thinks that I bring it all on myself, but I have a real problem when I spend most of my time doing things for him, but I don't get anything back. It's very hard for me to be patient and to accept him, when years later - I am still waiting for a proposal.
Do we have a happy future?

Dear Bride in Waiting...
First thing that I might want to mention, is that you should never have to stop asking questions. We ask questions because we WANT to learn... otherwise, you end up second-guessing everything around you. Plus, when you ask questions, you won't have to assume. :-)

I didn't receive any birth date information on the two of you, so I am going to work with what I can. So in the area of looking at the Elements and Zodiac signs... I want to let you know that Capricorn is an Earth sign, and Aries is fire. His earth can be warm to touch, and make things romantically interesting behind closed doors, and your fire will definitely add to that heat, bringing intense passion. His earth can bring stability, as well as security to your busy, enthusiastic life. Capricorn men do like to be in charge and be respected as head of the household - but unfortunately - so does Aries. You could see some serious head-butting between his Goat and your Ram. Capricorn's ruler is Saturn - which tells me that your boyfriend has had many falls in his life, in which he had learned to get back up on his feet again. Because of those hardships and experiences, he will that he has experienced more, and knows more than you - and that you should trust him at his word. His " hard falls and slow, steady rises" are kinda like his personal Power now. These constant "ups and downs" in his life have taught him that tears doesn't get you anywhere (which can make him appear quite serious and unemotional). This display of emotionless and domineering nature can be quite chilling to the fiery Aries. Aries' ruling planet is Mars - which is passionate and hot-blooded. Mars is the Greek God of War, who naturally comes with leadership skills and raw courage. Aries doesn't need to hold on to negative situations to know that she is the Queen... she just is... which leaves Capricorn feeling alittle bothered that you are disrespecting him in some sense.. cause he's done SO much for you. He needs to feel that you need him, and you may have to sign a life-long "I Owe You" note, to show your deep appreciation. Capricorn is very traditional - which could stomp on some of Aries spontaneous zest for life. Capricorn is slow and cautious, while Aries isn't afraid of what's "out there".

If both of you are willing to take turns at playing boss, this relationship can create a very playful, loving union. Each of you are strong and unique entities that could bring a lot to the table - but on the other hand, if one of you claims to have more power over the other - this union will flop faster than Aunt Martha's famous fruitcake!

I pulled a few cards in reference to your question and received the 9 of wands (reversed), the 4 of pentacles, and the 5 of wands (reversed).

I feel that with some of the very real-to-life struggles that you have personally dealt with already with your Capricorn boyfriend - along with some of the elemental views I have shared.... that your future doesn't hold the brightest flame with him. I feel that you will be doing all the work to inspire him and keep the relationship going (which in some cases, is what the Capricorn expects of his women). I think that you have been through this sort if relationship many times, and your Aries armor is getting ready to go to war again, as you prepare to defend your self.

Although you and your Mars are true warriors, I feel that you are tired of fighting. You are bored with defending yourself and defending your intentions. It takes a lot more courage (and maturity) to "be the "bigger person" and just let it all go. Don't let your pretty Aries ego get upset, thinking that he won though. He may have won the fight, but in the long run, by laying down your weapon... you have truly won the war.
It takes much more Spirit and bravery to make a responsible decision that will be best for the two of you.... than to continue fight for what you solely believe in.

I feel that this particular relationship, has taken up a lot of your time, as you have many goals that have been on hold, and ultimately being on hold with your life has only added to the stress. Use this excess energy that you have now, and get focused. Write your future goals down on a sheet of paper, and see where your Capricorn fits into each of your goals.

- Does he encourage you to better yourself, and support your personal growth?
- Does he make you feel guilty that you do not put enough time into him and his goals?
- Does he feel threatened that you may grow and forget about him?

He should only be interfering if you happen to be going down the wrong path or making a terrible mistake. Earth-related signs are about having firm foundations in their life. They are the ground and stableness that hold us up - and they need to feel just as grounded - if not MORE! Earth can feel easily threatened that you may try and grow something better elsewhere.. and forget about them. This is where earth may put out your fire. Sometimes your Capricorn boyfriend becomes too focused (and obsessed) over status and reputation, that you end up putting your own inspirations on hold - just to help him build his. That's when the relationship really becomes one-sided, and you begin to ask questions. You have a right to ask questions.

Your questions and issues are not just with him though, but also within yourself Bride. There is, and has been struggle - and it's for a reason. You have had opportunities that came into your life, and you also have had opportunities to learn from your mistakes. One learns from changing their thinking, changing their attitude, and eventually changing their circumstances. You've been through this situation a few times now, and you are experiencing it (again) for a reason. A reason for personal and spiritual growth. You have learned a lot from the two of you being together, and your heart and eyes wide open, want to see more than what he has been offering to you.

I believe that your Capricorn boyfriend came into your life for a reason. He came to teach you something very important - just as he was supposed to learn something from knowing you. And now, years later, I feel that that you have learned what you were finally suppose to learn from him.... because I see you leaving him. I see you leaving him because you learned, from him. Your job with him is done, and I see you leaving because you have a new journey that awaits you, as it is time to find your Self again, and enjoy walking into your own aspirations.... rather than walking into his.

Starcana Tarot

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