Free weekly horoscope from www.starcana.com: Astrological Happenings ~ with a free monthly spiritual Astro Tarotscope

March 22, 2008

Pet Zodiac Signs


Animal Magick
(For information about Animal Magick - click the image above.)


I have two great cats who think that they each are the King of the family. Bob Cat is a white siamese mix who is a handsome Pisces/Aries cusp, and now 15 years old. He is a classic zodiac mix of Pisces, with his HUGE baby blue eyes and his mellow temperament, but his warrior spirit of Aries is also quite available with his incredibly large body who walks the fields with a confident nature. He is a bold and protective cat, and he's also very territorial. He is fearless and chases the neighbor dogs off of our (or should I say HIS) property!!

Then there is Salem, who is a gorgeous, long-haired cat who is black as night, and now 6 years old. He too, is classic of his zodiac sign Gemini, as the charming Mr. Friendly, and always sweet-talking those he meets. He is definitely a lover and not a fighter.

And my loyal pup Charley, a golden lab retriever mix. My playful Sagittarius friend adores the outdoors just like me, so we'll spend alot of time in the yard when we can. He always has a goofy grin on his face and always ready to play! And that boy is filled with nonstop energy! WOW!

I got a few cute email jokes about the pros ad cons of dogs and cats and thought I would share them with you, by clicking the links below.

What is the difference between a dog and a cat?
A dog lives in your house and sees that you give it food and water and says to itself, "Wow, these beings give me food and water without my having to do anything. They must be gods!"



A cat lives in your house and sees that you give it food and water and says to itself, "Wow, these beings give me food and water without my having to do anything. I must be a god!"

Oh Lordy Lordy.....
Starcana
 
 

Dog Personalities and Canine Traits


Animal Omens
(Click the image above for more information about Animal Omens!)


This was a great emailed joke that I got relating to the personalities of dogs.


30 REASONS WHY IT'S GREAT TO BE A DOG

1. No one expects you to take a bath every day.
  
2. Your friends never expect you to pay for lunch, dinner or anything else for that matter.
  
3. When it's raining, you can lie around the house all day and never worry about being fired.

4. If it itches, you can reach it.
  
5. And, no matter what itches, no one is offended if you scratch it in public.
 
6. It doesn't bother you if your favorite television show is a rerun.
  
7. You can wear a fur coat and no one thinks you're insensitive.
 
8. April 15 means nothing to you.
  
9. People at drive-through windows never charge you for treats.

10. Your friends don't think less of you for passing gas.

11. A rawhide bone can entertain you for hours.

12. No one gets mad if you fall asleep while they're talking.

13. As an adult, it's OK if you haven't "amounted to anything" except being a dog.

14. The older you get, the more people respect you.

15. You can sleep late every day.

16. If you grow hair in weird places, no one notices.

17. You never get in trouble for putting your head in a stranger's lap.
18. There's no such thing as bad food.
19. You don't have to worry about good table manners.

20. Someone else combs your hair.

21. People think you're normal if you stick your head out the window to feel the wind in your hair.

22. You're always excited to see the same old people.

23. Having big feet is considered an asset.

24. If you gain weight, it's someone else's fault.

25. Everything smells good to you.

26. A garbage can is a fast-food stop.
27. No one tells you to wipe your nose because it's wet.

28. No matter where you live, you own the place.

29. Your mate never complains because you whine.

30. Puppy love can last.

Yep.. I've been deeply touched by the puppy lovebug!!!  :-)
Starcana

 
 

Cat Personalities - Does Your Cat Own You?

Know your pet - Animal Speak
(Click the image above for more details about the special powers of animals!)


DOES YOUR CAT OWN YOU??

(This was a funny emailed joke that I got a kick out - being an owner of two happy go lucky cats! Cat owners will appreciate and relate to this one!)


Do you select your friends based on how well your cats like them?
Does your desire to collect cats intensify during times of stress?
Do you buy more than 50 pounds of cat litter a month?
Do you scoop out the litter box after each use? 
Do you wait at the box with the scoop in your hand?
Do you think it's cute when your cat swings on the drapes or licks the butter?
Do you admit to non-cat owners how many cats you really have?
Do you sleep in the same position all night because it annoys your cats when you move?
Do you kiss your cat on the lips?
Do you feed your cat tidbits from the table with your fork?
Does your cat sit at the table (or ON the table) when you eat?
Does your cat sleep on your head? Do you like it?
Do you have more than four opened but rejected cans of cat food in the refrigerator?
Do you watch bad TV because the cat is sleeping on the remote?
Did you buy a video tape of fish swimming in an aquarium to entertain your cat?
Will you stand at the open door indefinitely in the freezing rain while your cat sniffs the door, deciding whether to go out or come in?
Would you rather spend a night at home with your cat than go out on a bad date?
Do you give your cat presents and a stocking at Christmas? Do you spend more for your cat than you do for your spouse?
Do the Christmas cards you send out feature your cat sitting on Santa's lap? Does your cat sign the card?
Do you put off making the bed until the cat gets up?
Does your cat eat out of cut crystal stemware because you both watched the same commercial on television?
Do you microwave your cat's food? Prepare it from scratch?
Do you climb out of bed over the headboard or footboard, so you won't disturb the sleeping cat?
At the store, do you pick up the cat food and kitty litter before  you pick out anything for yourself?
Do you cook a special turkey for your cat on holidays?
Does your cat "insist" on a fancy Sunday breakfast consisting of an omelet made from eggs, milk, and salmon, halibut, or trout?
Do you have pictures of your cat in your wallet? Do you bring them out when your friends share pictures of their children? (Pollsters claim that 40 percent of cat owners carry their pet's pictures in their wallets, by the way.)
When people call to talk to you on the phone, do you insist that they say a few words to your cat as well?
Do you accept dates only with those who have a cat? If so, do you eventually double-date with the cats to see how they get along?
When someone new comes to your house, do you introduce your cat, by name, to them?

Cats are definitely cool, calm, and collected. 
I've got a Leo the Lion moon and know first hand.  :-)

Mee-owwww.
Starcana

Astrology Tarot Readings at www.starcana.com
 
 


March 04, 2008

Tax 'em...... It'll Teach'em A Lesson

This was something that I found and thought was fun and interesting - especially because it's Tax time... then you see the sad truth come alive.  

Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.

Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.

Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.

Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.

Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries, then
Tax his tears.

Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his ass.

Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won't be done
Till he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers,
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He's good and sore.

Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he's laid.
Put these words
upon his tomb,
" Taxes drove me to my doom..."

When he's gone,
Do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax.

Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inven tory Tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service Charge Tax
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax
Sales Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Fe deral U niversal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurrin g and Non-recurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

These taxes didn't exist 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had no national debt, and had the largest middle class in the world, while Mom stayed home to raise the kids.