Dear Princess... Yes, you are definitely swimming in the sea of love! But the currents are so dangerous. If you can't swim, I'd say get out, as someone is going to pull you down with them.
Personality-wise, both men can be beautiful, inside and out, since they are both ruled by the planet Venus! Nick's element is air, and can be alittle chilly at times, which can make water grow cold. Jacob's element is earth, which is warm, which can give Pisces alittle control of the temperature in the bedroom!
You and Nick make a fun pair, as Libra (air) feeds Pisces' (water) movement, change, and inspiration - but too much "air" can also dry up all the water (emotions) that was once plentiful.
Jacob the Taurus (earth) can seem alittle boring at times - because water likes movement, and earth can be consuming. But Pisces knows all about consuming, and doesn't mind it at all. Therefore, earth promises Pisces the security that you need, by keeping you grounded.
So far, I'd say Jacob is ahead in this first round.
Now with the help of the Tarot.... I pulled a card for each of you. First, I shuffled the deck, and the Death card (reversed) appeared to represent your situation. I pulled a card then for each guy. The 10 of Swords for Nick, and the Moon for Jacob.
You are intensely involved with both of these men - and the emotions and feelings that you are experiencing with Nick and Jacob are very, very real - which may make sense as to why I see this whirlwind of anxieties and fears surrounding you. The thought of having to make such a final decision is literally ripping your fast-beating heart from your chest.... so much already, that you are ready to say the heck with it all - and just leave these two loves behind, and everything else behind - just to escape from the rush of energy that you feel.
Your connection with Nick seems to have been confusing from the very beginning, but at the same time - you've both felt so connected to each other. There is a darkness that coats your relationship with Nick for a long tim enow, whether it was your reputation with the fear of getting caught, or possibly something deeper, where I might suspect there may have been some sort of physical or mental abuse. Although I see that there is a nervousness about leaving what you and Nick shared - there is also a sense of calm and relief. Perhaps because you are finding your self and your power through this courageous choice. In all honesty, I might think that you probably left the relationship a long, long time ago - whether I see you alone - either physically or emotionally. I see your decision being very good on this one, as your strength continues to grow, as you pull yourself above the ashes of what was left. This is truly something that needed to be taken care of before any next move of yours. Your direction is clear - and it lights your path.
There is a strong sense of love and compassion that is shared between you and Jacob. From the first time that you connected with each other - you both felt the instant chemistry. You both nurture and comfort each other. There is only light when you are with Jacob, and you are not afraid anymore. He is a genuine soul, and hides nothing from you. Trust and goodness support your connection together. Being with Jacob takes all madness away. The darkness is erased and the light continues to grow between the two of you. You are the woman you have always wanted to be.... when you are with Jacob.
It wont be a completely easy move though. I pulled a few more cards that suggest that Nick is (and always has been) quite the charmer, all to gain his control over you. If you allow him back into your life because of that poisonous charm, I fear that your uncertainty and unhappiness will continue to flourish for many more years to come. Nick knows you, and your weakness, and will aim to keep you powerless, to feel in control.
The choice is left up to you Princess, as to what you want out of this. Nick has a lot of growing up to do before he can graduate to becoming Prince Charming. I'd put my bet down on Jacob. I see him as your "happily ever after"!
The waters in the Sea of Procrastination are going to be pretty rough ahead - so choose wisely Pisces.
And until you do... invest in a life-jacket.
Blessings!
Starcana Tarot
